Wednesday, January 20, 2010

What's for dinner?

One of the perks to being so young and cute is that you can eat whenever you damn please. If the family is sitting down to eat a meal, sure you can join them. But two minutes later, you have complete freedom to get up and leave. Try it next time. I suggest walking around to everyone's seat and blowing on their food for them, you know, just in case it's too hot. Or grabbing a fist full of cornbread and insisting on watching Space Ghost.
It's coast to coast.

Sometimes they will make you food that does not meet your approval. Instead of protesting, simply grab your bowl or plate and carry it over to the closest Grown Up. Dump the contents of your bowl into theirs and instruct them to eat. They will be so enamored with your generosity that the fact that you didn't eat that disgusting slop will have escaped their notice.

What's that? You're still in a high chair? Excuse me for a minute while I laugh at you.

You must act immediately to get rid of that chair. Next time a Grown Up tries to plop you in, first try the "NO" technique. If you manage to get yourself buckled in, start throwing food. At them. Take careful aim and go to town, the messier the better. You'll be kissing that high chair goodbye in no time.


  1. Excuse ME for a minute, while I laugh at YOU!

  2. Too funny! How well I remember those food days.