Sunday, February 7, 2010

Toddler Dinner Etiquette

Let me share with you my sure fire tips on how to have a successful family dinner. First, always start off by blowing on everyone's food. I think I’ve mentioned before the importance that food be at just the right temperature. You wouldn’t want anyone to burn their tongues.


Because that really is NOT comfortable.

As dinner progresses, it is natural for there to be some light discussion. Contribute whenever possible to the evening’s conversations, even if what you have to say is incomprehensible. Do not wait for other’s to finish their sentences, just chime in whenever the mood strikes you. Sometimes, Grown Ups will become so engrossed in what they are saying that they will neglect eating. If this happens, walk over to them and point to their plates and yell “EAT!” They should be forever grateful for this reminder and touched that you are thinking of their nutrition.

Later after plates have been removed, one of your Grown Ups might express the desire to stretch out on the floor complaining of soreness gathered the night before from when you climbed into their bed and forced them to sleep on the very edge of the mattress. This is a great opportunity to practice your kicking. And stomping. While they are lying there, just give a good swift kick to strengthen up those gross motor skills. If they should complain that this hurts, kindly offer them some milk from your sippy-cup. If they decline your offer, simply start pouring the milk onto their face. I am sure they will find it quite refreshing.

Once the dessert course has been served, quickly lap up the ice cream (because really, what ELSE would you have for dessert?) and demand more. If they tell you there is no more, check for yourself. There should be an empty ice cream container in the recycle bin if they are telling the truth. Lucky for them, they were.

Following these simple tips will ensure a pleasant evening meal.

Bon app├ętit.

6 comments:

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